Every now and then I am lucky enough to get a picture from A1 that he drew at school. These are my special pictures and I bring them to work so I can stick them up in my office. The collection is coming along nicely.
I thought this morning though, that paper unfortunately doesn’t last forever, so from now on, I’m going to scan them in to keep forever.
Here is “Monster with a Shooting Star”:
xoxo
Last night I attended a talk at A1’s school by Dereck Jackson. He is a well-known child psychologist, father and educator. The talk was about Bullying. I tried to take as many notes as possible, to share with my bestie who couldn’t make it. I found it very informative. Even though a lot of this might sound logical to you, I don’t think we always take the time to do the logical thing with our children.
The topic discussed below, is also covered in Dereck Jackson’s book: Parenting with Panache.
Bullying *starts* in nursery school, and carries on throughout highschool. You might even experience it in your workplace. It’s a World Wide Problem! So much so, that a few years back, in Britain, bullying was classified as a national emergency. Bullying NEEDS to be taken seriously!
A very scary reality: the main cause of suicide in children under 15 is due to being bullied!
To start solving a bully problem (either being a bully or bullying) is to check whether the problem lies with the school or the child. Looking at the child aspect:
The child might not be placed in the right environment for him/her
You can check the following areas to see if they fit in:
If all of these factors are looked at and in place, the problem might lie within the child. Physical appearance like red hair and freckles or pointy ears may become the object of the teasing.
Differences can lead to target teasing
Children WANT conformity!
This is not to say that you want your child to be a slave of his peer group, but he needs to be able to form part of his peer group. As a parent you need to try and assist your child to form part, where possible. Jenty wrote a post about this a while ago, when she experienced something like this with her eldest son.
A good example of this sort of thing: If you live in Sandton, most likely, your child will be requesting a Blackberry by the age of 8. That is the way things are done in that area. So, if you do not want your child to have a Blackberry at 8, do not move to Sandton… (This is just an example!) 8 year olds who live in Sandton, expect different things in life to 8 year olds who live in Edenvale.
You can teach your child coping techniques, to deal with situations in which they may face bullying.
2. Submissive people -> Allow others to trample on them
Neglect to express legitimate needs
3. Assertive people -> Express their legitimate needs directly, openly and honestly
Treats others with respect
Directly, Openly, Honestly! <- KEYWORDS
An example of the above:
An aggressive, a submissive and an assertive goes to a restaurant. All 3 order their steaks Well Done. The steaks arrive at the table and they are all still dripping with blood.
The aggressive shouts at the waiter, calling him an idiot, humiliating him in public and threatens him with calling the manager before demanding his steak to be returned to the grill for 5 minutes. The waiter does so, but before returning the steak, might spit on it or do something else unsavoury to it.
The submissive says nothing, for they do not like causing a scene and eats the rare steak. Even though later it makes him sick, he would rather not say anything.
The assertive calmly but clearly calls the waiter over: ‘Excuse me sir, I ordered my steak well done, but this steak is rare. Please will you ask your chef to put it under the grill for a further 5 minutes?’ The waiter will return the steak to the kitchen, have it cooked to the right degree and return it to the assertive, spit-free. Because he was treated with respect.
Some children might need assertiveness classes, but it’s not always necessary. Parents and teachers can teach children a lot themselves. An example:
A child goes to school every day, and every day the bully comes up to him, pushes him to the ground and takes his toy/lunch/money. You can teach your child to pre-empt this attack and then before the bully can do anything, your child must tell him to Stop! I am NOT your friend! Then turn around and walk away.
You can practice this technique with your child at home.
Parents deal with bullying differently. A mother might become so furious with the bully, that she walks up to him, grabs him by the collar and threatens to break his ankles if he does not leave her child alone. That fixes the problem for this week, but next week there may be someone else. Then she needs to do it again. And again.
Do not take an age appropriate problem away from a child!
From 4 years old, children need to learn to deal with a problem.
Dads on the other hand, depending on the gender of the child, might have a different approach to deal with the problem. Should his little girl come home, crying about being teased at school, he will tell her to come sit on his lap and tell him all of her worries. Afterwards he might even promise to break the offenders ankles if they ever do it again. Boys on the other hand, get told to suck it up and punch it out. Big boys don’t cry. The problems with this approach:
A better approach would be to try to listen and support your child and his problems. Do not humiliate/embarrass him by calling him a sissy/big boys don’t cry etc. Listen and empathise and try to find an assertive solution to the problem.
It might also be a good time to consider Martial art classes. They are great to teach assertiveness, but also teaches self-control to the bullies. It’s the art of discipline, more so than the art of self-defence.
Other strategies you can teach your child to cope with being bullied:
Teach your children to be PROUD of who they are/defects/colour/religion etc!!
Dereck Jackson ended with this quote:
I MUST remember it for one day, when the A-Team is all grown up!
xoxo
On Friday night I finally got to collect my new phone for my contract upgrade. I decided to go to Game, so I can get me some vouchers, so I can buy stuff 
This meant that I could finally get my dishwasher that I’ve been yearning for for so very long! Dishwashers ROCK, let me tell you that! Anyhoodle, after much humming and haahing and getting opinions on Facebook and Twitter, I decided to go for the Vodafone 858. Yeah, so it’s not a fruit phone. I’m kinda over the fruits now. This phone runs on Android, and truth be told, it looks just like a mini version of my Galaxy Tab. It’s actually pretty awesome.
For my BB friends who’s gonna miss me on BBM, I relented and installed Whatsapp, if any of you still want to chat to me 
So I did the upgrade, got my vouchers and went and bought my dishwasher. While standing in the appliance section, waiting for someone to help me, I very briefly considered using the vouchers to buy the boys Lego and Duplo blocks. Lots and lots of Lego and Duplos. R2100 worth of it, actually. But then I came to my senses and filled in the delivery note for the dishwasher. But that gave me an idea: Mom, for Xmas, please will you buy the boys blocks? All kinds of sizes. I think we are going to do the same. They have lots and lots and lots of other toys, but not really any blocks. Thank you, love you!
On Saturday, TF left to go watch the rugby at his company where they entertained clients. I can’t really be bothered by the rugby (it’s okay if you don’t like me anymore now), so the boys and I lazed around the house. I baked some muffins, sorted out their new mattresses (Thanks, Dad!) and made their beds look pretty again. Then we lazed some more. In the afternoon my bestie came to visit so our boys (also besties) could play. We are busy making pirate hats and eyepatches for J’s (my besties son) birthday party next month. It’s going to be pirate themed. Much fun is being had on Pinterest for this!
In the afternoon we packed the 2 big boys in the car, then took a drive out to Pretoria to Catjuggles to pick up some silkworms for the boys. Their batch of eggs hatched and they had tons and tons of little worms to give away. Our 4 boys had some serious playing fun. Her 2 are just the cutest dudes ever! She also showed me how to make those cool poofy tutus for little girls. I think I’m definitely going to make them and add them to the Felt So Good range! Ansia and I decided we’re going to make some for us to start with, so we can wear it to J’s party. I’m going to pretend I’m a Pirate Princess and will make me a hat to match. Might even wear this for Halloween
Sunday was spent at the lovely Huggies Mama Meetup with friends, old and new. We had a great time there! Then an impromptu braai at the Outlaws, which turned out okay. We also had chocolate ice cream for dinner!
I noticed on Saturday that it looks as though A2 is going to pop a second tooth within the next few days. I can definitely feel it there under the skin, even though it hasn’t broken through yet. The very weird (if you were reading the parenting books, but maybe not so much if you’re my child) thing is, it’s the other top eye tooth (Right Top Lateral Incisor if you want to get all technical) that I’m talking about. Poor A2 is going to look like a vampfire (according to A1). Maybe for Halloween I’ll just put some glitter on his face and then he can be from Twilight :[ #TeamA2FTW
All in all, we had a really good weekend. Nice to be doing something different to the norm.
Hope you all have a fabulous week!
xoxo
A week or so ago, we (The A-team and I) got invited to a Huggies Mama Meetup. This invitation was sent out to a bunch of mamas on Twitter, some whom I’ve already met, and some not. The Meetup took place at River Cafe in Parkmore yesterday morning. Man, can I just tell you what an awesome venue the River Cafe is? A1 had an absolute blast playing on all the various structures and jumping castle (eventually) and in the sand pit.
Huggies treated all of us Mamas to a delicious breakfast and the kids got to have their faces (or in A2′s case, arm) painted, there were cupcakes and juice boxes and a balloon artist to entertain them. We got to have a fun morning out with old friends (Tanya, Gina, Mandi) and new friends (Tanya K, Nicki, Sam) and meet some Mamas I’ve only chatted to on Twitter before (Melinda, Lauren) and play catch up – something we always say we need to do, but then life takes over and we never actually get around to doing it… We also got spoiled with a lovely gift box when we left. That was very nice of them. Thank you Huggies SA!
I have always been a Huggies-Mama, even with A1 way back when (okay, 4 years ago). If someone has a nappy question/concern, or a Mama is expecting her first, I will always recommend Huggies Gold. Yes, I am one of THOSE moms that share my opinion/advice whether you want it or not But truth be told, for both my boys, Huggies Gold nappies have been the only ones that measured up to my standards, and fit all our requirements. It works wonderfully for my boys, we hardly ever had/have a leak (yes, that happens, but that is generally more user error, than manufacturing error), and they don’t smell funny with a few wees in it. I love that they are thin between the legs too, so they don’t push A2′s thighs out and make him look uncomfortable either.
We’ve been at the stage now (for a few months) where I don’t change A2 during the night when he wakes for his bottle. I try and keep him as close to sleep as possible, so he just carries on sleeping. It’s much better for my sanity, and makes me a nicer Mama to be around! The great thing about using the Huggies Gold, is that it keeps him dry throughout the night. That also makes me a much nicer Mama to be around.
**See, there I go again, flaunting my opinion in your faces 
**
Oh, and here are some photos from the Photobooth they had there for us to play with It was SO much fun!!
Thank you, Sam Robinson and Huggies SA for inviting us and making our Sunday one of the best in a long time! The boys had so much fun that they fell asleep in the car before we’d even left the parking area!
xoxo
It would seem that A2 is finally starting to find his feet. This is nice, considering we’ve seemed to skip the crawling stage entirely This in itself is not a problem, A1 wasn’t a crawler either, but the difference is that A1 started walking – proper walking – before 11 months. A2 is almost 13 months, and only starting to shuffle along the couch now.
It’s not that I’m wishing him to grow up, I just think it would’ve been nice(r) for him if he was more mobile already. Look, he loves his walking ring (same one his brother used), and the running up and down and round and round the house, two brothers chasing each other, is marvelous to hear. But the problem with the walking ring is that it can’t go *every*where. And he can’t exactly spend the whole day in it. So running around is still kind of limited for him.
But, that being said, he is really finally starting to show some confidence in the whole walking thing. Last week, when you held his hands, it still looked like he was walking on the moon. One biiiiiiig step, and then bringing the other foot just into place. That’s how it went. But this week, this week he has shown so much progress already. He now actually gives proper steps when you hold his hands. He also shuffles merrily from one side of the couch/ottoman to the other, with so much surity. Yes, he still wobbles now and then, but he’s more solid than not. And last night we noticed him actually moving from the ottoman to the couch, behind him. He can even turn and go exactly in the direction he wants to. It’s amazing to experience this with him.
I’m pretty sure very soon he’ll be a proper walker, and then I can call him my toddler as he toddles all over the house.
For now though, he is still my big, squishy, one-toothed baby
xoxo
When A2 was about 6 months old, he was admitted to the hospital due to RSV and secondary diseases. This was for a week. He was home a week and then re-admitted for another week. It was a really trying time for us as a family, but we made it through that. Since then, he’s never been what I would call a healthy little boy. Maybe for a day or 2 we’d have him sniffle and snot free, but then everything would start all over again.
He’s just over a year now, and for more than a year, we have never had a good night’s rest. A2 is always slimey/snotty/coughy/sick. He’s been on course after course of antibiotics, none of which seemed to really fix him. Every course of abs, went hand in hand with pro-biotics, but I still felt unhappy that he was given the abs so much. But what else could I do, I felt. He’s still a baby, so we can’t exactly leave it or not give him anything. He’s been on more kinds of medicine than I almost even knew existed for kids. Which is scary in itself.
Last week, I tweeted that it looks like we need to go for our monthly doctor’s visit (it’s more like 3-weekly, actually). Then a few friends responded asking why don’t I take him to a homeopath instead? And that it might be allergies that is causing him to be so chronically ill. Then I asked for a few referrals to Homeopaths. A friend on FB responded about a doctor that live just up the road from me, and turns out he is a clinical homeopath. So I made an appointment and we saw him on Friday afternoon.
Our consultation lasted an hour. Not that we made an hour’s long appointment, but A2′s medical history is just so long for such a teeny person, that it took that long to get through it all. For 45 minutes of that hour, I sat on the floor next to A2, trying to keep him busy, all the while talking to the doctor. He was a really nice guy, and I think we’ve just found our new family doctor. I’m not keen on the medical professionals any more, as 6 months and thousands of rands later, my child is STILL sickly.
We discussed a lot of things and he was appalled at the amount of antibiotics A2 has been given so far. He reckons children under 16-18 months must only be given abs in *extreme* cases, as essentially, their immune system is still supposed to run off the mothers for this time. Only after this time do they really start to build their own immune system. Because of the abs, A2′s body has been trained to believe that when he gets sick, he himself does not need to do anything to fight infections, as something else will come along and be the hero of the day. So in our case, the abs have done more damage than good.
He also doesn’t believe A2 has any allergies and he personally doesn’t believe in Vega testing for allergies, even though he has 2 Vega machines in his office. But like I said, he doesn’t believe that A2 suffers from allergies in the first place. According to his experience, he diagnosed A2 with IgA-immuno deficiency. The only way to confirm this beyond doubt, is via bloodtests, and again, he doesn’t send children for bloodtests, unless absolutely necessary. All signs and symptoms and history point to IgA-immuno deficiency, along with sinus-issues (which he probably inherited from me). The way I understand it, IgA stems from the white bloodcells in your body, and reside in your sinus cavities. Their essential function is to protect your body from any bacteria that passes through your nose/airways. Because A2 doesn’t have that/deficiency in that, the bacteria gets straight into his system.
Another factor that compromises his health, is the fact that his body doesn’t actually produce fevers. And fevers ain’t so bad, if you consider that they are the bodies’ first defense in fighting disease. That is their job. So if there’s no fever, there’s no fighting. This will explain why he gets so very sick/stays sick constantly. He has no natural antibodies to fight infections because of all the antibiotics he’s been given so far. (You know, you think you’re doing a good thing taking them to the doctor, trying to get them healthy. I feel terrible for having let it get this far, because I am his mother. Shouldn’t I have known better??)
The doctor suggested I go read up on the Hygiene Hypothesis . I’m not supposed to take everything on there word for word, but lift out the bits that apply to us and our situation.
So, we’ve embarked on a course of treatment, that will take about 3 months. The doctor said that he can’t guarantee that A2 won’t get sick again even within the next month, but we can try and do something to manage the severity of it. And 3 months is good. I’m not expecting a miracle cure, seeing as we have to undo 6 month’s worth of damage. This treatment will not cure the IgA, because there is no cure for that, but what we can do is take preventive measures to reduce the risk of infection, and prompt and effective treatment of infections.
The treatment consists of a 1 month intensive dose of Colostrum tablets (3 tabs x 1 in the morning), ongoing Vit C intake (1/3 tsp x 1 in the morning), Omega Fish Oil (2ml x 1 in the morning), and 2 other bottles of what I assume to be some kinds of plant extract things, because it sure as hell smells terrible!! And it’s a thick green color. It tastes better than what it smells, but still not great. And then one bottle of drops of something (15-20 drops x 3 daily). I think two of the things are called Imunex and Ribbies, but I can be entirely wrong because the doctor doesn’t have the neatest of handwriting. I don’t know what the other stuff is, but it also looks like Imun-something. I know everything he’s getting at the moment, is to boost his immune system, so that he can re-learn how to fight off infections himself.
His body is very run down at the moment, and that is why normal stuff aren’t making a difference. We used to give him Scotch emulsion and Zinplex Junior as supplements. The doctor encouraged the use of the Scotch emulsion, but said the Zinplex is really not strong enough and that’s why we were given the added Vit C powder.
The doctor also advised us to switch formulas. He was on Lactogen, which is apparently known to cause phlegm (in sick children) more so than other formulas. We’ve now changed to Isomil, which is soya based. He’s not lactose intolerant, so we don’t need to cut out all dairy, but it’s not like he drinks 4 x 180ml bottles of yoghurt a day. Just the milk. I know it’s only been a few days still, but I have to say, I think there’s already a noticable difference in the phlegmy side of things. It doesn’t sound so aggravated anymore, even though it is definitely still there. I think perhaps the milk has more of an effect on this than the medicine at this point though. In the mean time, we’ll give the medicines as prescribed, and re-evaluate the situation in a months’ time.
Hopefully, we are now on a road to recovery.
xoxo