I am Tamiya…

I spoke about my working holiday earlier. We travelled to the UK, my then boyfriend and I, as most South African scholl leavers do. We worked in some factories in Lincolnshire for  a while, then we got the opportunity to go work in a little town called Inverary in Scotland, where we worked in The George Hotel there. The hotel is older than discovered America, and the little town overlooks a Loch of it’s own. What an awesomely beautiful place. It’s breathtaking, and when I look at photos of our time there, I remember it fondly. The people were all so nice and friendly and homely.

So what do I hope to do? I hope to one day be able to take TD and teh kids there, to go show them the town and climb the hill and explore the surrounding villages. I want to show the kids Inverary Castle, and the room of swords and armour. I want to show them the Duchess of Inverary’s wedding dress, which gave the inspiration for my future wedding dress, if we were ever to get married in the winter time. I want to buy them Galaxy chocolates and offer them McVities Jaffa Cakes.

I’ll wait until they’re older though, because I don’t think they’ll really appreciate any of those things at the moment, LOL!

I generally forgive and forget quite easily, and quickly. There’s no lasting incidents in my life. I hate clinging on to the negativity, because I’m generally such a happy go lucky person.

I know I moan about the outlaws a lot, and it seems that I never forgive them for anything, but the thing is, I do forgive them, it’s just that they constantly do things that piss me off or upset me or requires moaning about… Although, the happy tablets are really making a big difference in the way I perceive things about them now, and I can now sit and reflect that perhaps just maybe some of the things they do that irritated me weren’t such a big a deal at all, really. I may perhaps just possibly have been slightly petty at that stage…

But don’t get me wrong, the above only applies to about 1 out of every 10 things

I have to forgive myself for all the stupid, stupid mistakes I’ve made in my life. The kids are NOT one of my mistakes, don’t EVER think that again.

One could be glass half-full and chalk the mistakes up to learning life’s lessons, and boy, have I learnt a bunch of them then.

There’s not just one particular incident I can think of at the moment, but rather a bunch of small ones over the years. Although, if I could do my working holiday all over again, I’d definitely travel more! I would like to explore more and see more and do more. Not work in one place for ever and a day, because then you’re doing the working holiday thing all wrong – you’re totally missing the holiday bit of it.

I love my laugh. And I love the fact that I have stuff to laugh about.

Besides the PND I’ve had recently, I laugh alomost daily, as Boobah just comes with the funniest things. Sometimes I’m amazed at how grown up he really is now, not just a baby anymore. He’s such a funny, funny child!

I love the fact that I make absolutely GORGEOUS kidlets!! Go look at them here, snapped by Sharon of Lifestyle Images Photography.

I love me. At one stage it bordered on the other side of the vanity line, but I’m older now. I just love me for who I am and what I believe in. I like being me.

Well, I can’t really make a Smilebox for the one and not the other

Look how much my boy has grown up!!

Customize a scrapbook design

…apparently…

A while ago I did a post on my Vaginismus, explaining it and how it has affected my life in general. The support I received from everyone in the comments really helped me so much and just made me feel so loved.

Until today. Today I get this:

May Paki writes:

Primary Vaginismus.
If you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex.

It is God’s way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate.
So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN.
Or be CELIBATE.
That’s because it is God’s way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don’t realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming.

Trying to remedy your condition is against God’s will.
God does NOT want you to have sex.
If your a woman, don’t get married & don’t have sex if your VAGINA wont let you.
God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity.
FACE IT! You have a NUN’S VAGINA.
It is time to give up on men and become a NUN.

VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation.
God truly works in strange ways.

Truly! That is what the person said. I have left it unedited in any way or form.

I just laughed. Out loudly! Because it’s so very laughable. I’m not going approve the comment on the previous post. It is not necessary, because it’s right here.

Much love x 4

I was playing around with Smilebox today, and thought I’d share more pictures of PlusOne with you You just have to indulge me, seeing as this is one way of getting me blogging again

Go ahead, go watch my Smilebox!!

**All the pictures used were taken by Sharon from Life Images Photography**

Personalize a free scrapbook design

Off the top of my head, I can think of 3 things I hate about myself, although hate is a very strong word to use. All 3 things are physical problems, and therefore I can fix them as and when finances allow

1. My small boobs – I know a lot of women complain about the size of their boobs, but mine are exceptionally small. They only look okayish under clothes, because I can buy such things as padded bra’s etc.
2. My missing front tooth – It’s been about two years that I haven’t had a tooth there, due to medical aids and finances and stuff. I’m pretty much okay with it on most days, but when I meet someone new, I feel very self-conscious about it. I cant wait to smile properly for photos again.
3. The Vaginismus – Now there is something I do hate, with a passion, because it has hampered my life in such a way. But, we are getting help for it, so hopefully soon this too shall be a thing of the past.

On a deeper level, there’s nothing I would really change about me, because if it’s changeable and I don’t like it, I’ll work on it to change it. Simple as that.

…for those that missed me

I know I haven’t been around much lately, and I’m sorry, but it seems this whole SAHM thing and I don’t do very well together. I take my hat off to those moms that manage it AND then also manage to homeschool their kids ook nog! It’s almost sucky to say it, but sometimes I can’t wait t get back to work, just so I can get my online social life back. I miss it and I miss you too. I’ve been trying to stay on track with Twitter and reading all your blogs (even though I don’t comment – but that’s because the BB and commenting sometimes struggle), so I know what’s been happening in *your* lives. Lemme update you a bit on mine:

• PlusOne is already such a big boy and greets us with smiles every morning at 04:00, exactly! He also does this during the day, but it’s that 4 AM smile that makes getting up so early worth it.
• His hair (at least he was born with hair, unlike Boobah) still looks like an old man’s bald head. He’s got the hair growing around the bottom of his head, all round, and very dark so you can’t miss it, and then some-some hair growing to the sides on top, which I like to give that comb-over look Just for kicks…
• Remember that Sharon, from Life Images Photography did my Maternity Belly Shoot – Bump in a Veld? She gave me the awesome gift of a Sibling Shoot voucher as a baby shower present, and subsequently, we had a shoot at my house when PlusOne was about 3 weeks old. You can see more of my gorgeous boys here.
• Boobah is also doing great. He really has been a champ with this whole new baby thing, and loves his baby brother more than anything in the world. All I have to do is just caution now and then that he needs to be gentle, or not scream so loud, but I really can’t complain about his general behavior with regards to the baby.
• What I *can* complain about, is his ears that stopped working. If anyone knows where I can take them for a refund, please be so kind as to send me details. They vary in levels of working, some days it’s all selective hearing, and other days they don’t work at all. I also tried the whole klap thing, like you kick your TV or bang your PC when that doesn’t work, but to no avail. However, for the moment, they seem just fine though.
• My brother gave me a whole bunch of PC games for Boobah, and he finally mastered how to open and close them himself. I’m SUPER thankful for that, because the constant “Mamamamamamamamama, I want another game” was starting to drive me insane! It would’ve been okay if he actually played something for longer than 2 minutes before wanting to change games, but alas. Now he does it himself. I’m so proud!
• Me, I found a new hobby: Sewing. I may have tweeted about it once or twice, and also Twitpic’d one or two of my creations. It’s awesome, because our whole Belly Buddy class, bar TheCaz, are all into sewing lately, so besides the babies, we have something else in common now. Speaking of which, our little group got a new member, also with a mini-mensie in the age group of all our youngest ones, Marieks. You can go read all about her here. She sews too, for a living!! Imagine that?!
• We’ve bought a house !! A REAL house, with a garden and a pool and 3 bedrooms and a lounge and everything, and WE *bought* it!! I’m so super excited about moving in. Which at this stage looks set to be 1 Dec 2010. I want to have a house warming, so if you’re interested in coming to my party, just drop me a note so I can send you an invite (wink wink, nudge nudge).
• At the moment we’re living in some spare rooms at the Outlaws’s house. Yeah, TD and his dad misjudged the timing on the house paperwork, and rented out our place before the registration came through, so we’ve had to move all our stuff here and live here for the time being. For a WHOLE month!!!
• Oh, also, I’ve been diagnosed with PND (Post Natal Depression). If you look on that link site, I had basically all of the “Do you feel…” symptoms, but not really the rest. So I have more the depression part than anything else. BUT, I have happy pills now, and it seems they are working, because today I feel like my old self again. It’s awesome!! I missed me so very very much!
• And about the Vaginismus from that other post I did, we are slowly in the process of getting help. The doctor I spoke about doesn’t do the procedure, but I found out later there’s more to just getting a shot of Botox than what I thought. I strongly urge anyone who has a similar problem to get in contact with Dr. Elna McIntosh, from DISA. She is just awesome and has promised to guide us on our journey to recovery.
• Because of the house moving and the PND and everything else that was making me so unhappy, my Moederloef felt sorry for me, and convinced my Old Man that we NEED to come visit them for a while. I need to get away to sort myself out, and being on Maternity leave still now would be the best possible time for us to come. PlusOne is old enough to fly and Boobah will enjoy this time more than the first time, as he’s older now. Unfortunately, TD can’t come with, due to finances and work and stuff, so it’s just the boys and I. My brother will be joining us too, because he needs to help me with the kids on the airplane and someone needs to lug all our baggage around We’re leaving on Saturday morning and will be gone for two weeks.
• Where are we going, I hear you say? Oh, just to Mauritius. For TWO weeks!! But it’s *not* a holiday, I’m just going to visit my Moederloef, because I need some mommy love now!

Uhm, I’m sure there’s more I wanted to tell you, but right now I can’t remember what it was, so I’ll just let you enjoy the above.

Oh, and I just remembered, I’m going to aim to do the 30 Days of Blog Challenge that’s currently doing the rounds. Megan has a whole page about it, so I’m gonna steal her page contents and make a page of my very own about it

Much love