I am Tamiya…

I like being prepared. And I also like knowing stuff, so that I can be prepared. I am now 12 weeks and 6 days pregnant. That is still too early to discover the baby’s gender by normal sonar, although I’ve heard they can pick it up at about 12 weeks if you are having a fetal-assessment (which we’re not). I want to find out if we’re going to have a girl or a boy. This makes me feel prepared.

It also means I can start buying proper stuff, in the right color! I’m not really a green/yellow/beige/white kinda momma. Also, in my head, green is for boys and yellow is for girls, which kind of only leaves you with white and beige to choose from. And I don’t think white is a very sensible color, specially if there’s a big brother of 3 and a bit* in the surrounding area.

On top of that, knowing the gender allows us to name PlusOne properly. And that makes her more real, not just to me, but to Boobah as well. And that is very important in my eyes.

Long before I was even pregnant, I really found a liking for the name Aidan. It’s just something that stuck in my head and was the first name I thought of when both those lines showed up. I even went as far as feminizing the name to Aydenne, just in case we have a girl. I ran the idea past The Dad, who initially agreed with me on the name, both ways, but two days later changed his mind on Aydenne. Aidan was still fine, but he wasn’t so much liking the girl name. I told him it’s fine, he just needs to come up with a better name then, that we’d both agree on. Which he duly did. The first name he said, Cenay, was the one I then immediately fell in love with! And because PlusOne is a girl, I told Boobah the name and we’ve been speaking of Cenay ever since.

But don’t fear, I’ve also discussed with him the possibility that PlusOne might be a boy, and then she will be a he and then his name will be Aidan. And he totally gets it!

That was until this weekend though. I found out this weekend that a cousin of The Dad has named her little girl Hayden. Hayden is now six weeks old (maybe 7). Hayden is a lovely name, but that puts us in a slight dilemma. I can now, and no longer want to, name PlusOne Aidan if he were to be a boy**. The names are way to similar and the kids being born in the same year… nah, I just don’t want to think about it.

So after much deliberation on Wednesday, I searched high and low for new boy names. Eventually I came up with five that made my shortlist:

(From MOST favorite to least favorite-but-still-nice)

• Calvin
• Benjamin
• Sebastian
• Tristan
• and Caleb

I mentioned them to The Dad that night, who had something snotty to say about EACH and EVERY name I came up with! Besides that putting me into a mood and sending me flying off my handle, it meant that we couldn’t go with any of those. So we started throwing names around and I even got wonderful input from some Twitter mommas out there. Eventually we settled on either Matthew (The Dad’s choice) and Alexander (another long-time favorite of mine). I kept leaning towards Alexander, but the more I think of Matthew, the more the name grows on me. Also, keep in mind, the name has to go with William, which is the maternal family name***.

Then, last night, I was explaining the new name situation to Boobah. I told him to say both new names, and then I asked him which one is his favorite? The one he likes most of the two? His answer: Matthew.

I think that settles it then! If PlusOne were to be a boy, he will be called Matthew William S.

Much love x 2.25

*The age Boobah will be at the time of birth

**It’s going to be a girl, so it doesn’t particularly matter, right?

***Boobah has the paternal family name, and this is something I really want to do

The other day Boobah and I were driving around in the car and talking about PlusOne. We talk about PlusOne a lot, and as I’ve mentioned before, I like to keep him involved in what is happening with the whole pregnancy. Suddenly, he piped “When PlusOne is as big as my arm*, and she’s ready to come out, will she come out your mouth?”

(Now you have to give the kid credit for logical thinking – I eat via my mouth when PlusOne is hungry**, so naturally this is where she’ll come out, right?)

Before that moment, I hadn’t yet given any thought as to how to explain to him the technicalities of how a baby is actually born. It hadn’t been necessary until then. After trying to keep my composure and just laughing on the inside, because I feel that no question from a child is ever a stupid question, I just told him the truth:

When PlusOne is big enough and ready to come out, mommy will go to the Baby Doctor and he will cut a door in my tummy so that PlusOne can come out.

This is the honest truth, because I’m not sure if my doctor will ever agree to a VBAC. Although I will ask him next time I see him.

Boobah was quite happy with this answer, and asked me if he came out of a door in my tummy. So I told him yes, when he was just a teeny tiny little baby, he also lived in my tummy until he was ready to come out. And then the doctor cut a door in my tummy when it was time.

It’s been a week since this conversation, and he still remembers what I told him and refers to what I said.

On a side note, he can’t wait for PlusOne to be big enough so she can come out, because then mommy will have to come to work alone again and PlusOne will stay with him! And he proceeds to tell me this almost every day, with much glee.

He’ll be a wonderful big brother!

Much love x 2.25

*To show Boobah in realistic terms which he will understand, just how long the growing process takes, I told him she needs to be as big as his entire arm before she’ll be ready to come out. Currently, she’s as big as his middle finger.

**In order to get Boobah to eat (which is not something we struggle with often), I tell him that PlusOne is also hungry and that she would like it if they could eat their dinner together in front of the TV. This normally helps to get him eating.

I have this theory, right? Yes, I’ve googled it and got a lot of results and no substantial proof that this theory works, yet I still believe in it and hold on to it. I did this with Boobah and I’m going to do it with PlusOne as well.

I’m going to play her music, while she’s still inside my womb. But not just any type of music. It’ll be classical music. The likes of Mozart, Brahms, Bach and Chopin. Not only because classical music has a calming effect, I also like to listen to it. At work it helps me focus and keeps me driven.

Ideally, what I’d like to do, is get a pair of cheapy earphones again, and stretch them over my ever-bulging stomach, and play the music, softly, directly into my belly. I say softly, because apparently the fluids in your womb are very good at conducting sound waves, so I don’t want my poor prune to be overwhelmed or anything. And also not for long periods at a time, rather not more than an hour a day, with good breaks im between.

Also, I suppose I still have time before she’ll actually be able to hear it, as the hearing only really kicks in from about 20 weeks or so. We’re only on 10 weeks, so there’s quite a long way still to go. But I still like to think that the music has a positive effect on their neural development. I used to do this with Boobah way back when. We’d be at work, and he would listen to the music while I did my coding. I even played sound games with him, changing where the sound comes out (left or right speaker) and putting it louder and softer. He really responded to our games, moving towards the side of the sound and pressing hard against my hand when I put the music softer and moving back in when I put it slightly louder.

As for development and whether my kid is more clever now than he would have been if I hadn’t done this, I wouldn’t know. But I do like to think that he is more advanced for his age in certain areas and quite on par with the rest. You might call me biased, because I’m his mother and I’m supposed to think like this, and that may be true, but I still think my boy is clever and amazing and just a super kid because he just IS!

For now though, PlusOne and I will be listening to Classic FM on the radio.

Much love x 2.25